In the early days of my sobriety I didn't think very well. There was no way I could handle 12 of anything, let alone the 12 Steps of Recovery, so my sponsor broke them down into what he called, "bite-sized bits." Steps 1-3, he said, are the "attitude steps." Here is where I change my mind about myself and my place in the universe - where I quit being my own Higher Power. Steps 4-9, he said, are the "action steps." Here is where what I think begins to make a difference in what I do--where I begin to live differently than I did when I was caught in the sewer of my disease. Steps 10-12, he said, are the "continuing action steps." This is where recovery becomes a way of life. We continued to take personal inventory, and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.



I absolutely hated this step when I first encountered it. You see, when I was drinking and drugging, I was never wrong--at least that I'd admit! And now here I was confronted with the daunting task of continuing to work Step 4 (a step, by the way, that I had spent the first 40 years of my life desperately trying NOT to do) and Step 5! What I learned from my sponsor, however, is that when taking and sharing a personal inventory becomes a regular, (and, for me early in recovery, a daily) exercise, it becomes manageable, and, after a while, even enjoyable; because I get to practice the rigorous honesty my program requires. Now, I want to editorialize here just a bit. Although I think it's important for me to consider my "wrongs" on a daily basis, and to admit them; I also think Step 10 is about a daily consideration of my "rights." You see, recovery isn't just about discovering our mistakes and trying to correct them; it's about discovering what we've done well and celebrating it. If all I get to do in Step 10 is focus on the negative, I might just start drinking or drugging again; but when I understand Step 10 as an opportunity to celebrate the good in my life and character, that gives me impetus to "keep on keeping on" in recovery.



Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.



"Conscious contact" is one of those things most of us don't do very well. It's as if, at the conclusion of a wedding, the pastor says, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may ignore the bride." I hope you all know that a marriage doesn't end when the wedding concludes--it begins; and the rest of the time we spend in that marriage, we spend it trying to improve our conscious contact with our mate! I can't tell you the number of young couples I've counseled as a pastor where usually, but not always, the wife will say, "My spouse just doesn't appreciate me! We never talk anymore!" Conscious contact is a matter of utmost importance, and it centers on the issue of communication--of talking and listening in a way that allows us to share and to learn. As it is in marriage, so it is in recovery. If we don't work this step on a regular basis, our relationship with God begins to deteriorate, and the danger of relapse multiplies. So, how do we communicate with God? We talk and we listen. We pray and we meditate.



Prayer is what happens when I talk with the understanding that God is listening to me (think about THAT for a minute!) If you don't think you know how to pray, there are a lot of prayers in the Big Book you can use for starters; but there really isn't any "right" way to pray. Just talk. Share. Open up!



Meditation is what happens when I listen with the understanding that God is talking to me (think about THAT for a minute!) Meditation is the opposite of worry. When I worry, I focus on the problem; when I meditate, I focus on the solution. I can meditate by reading any of the myriad of books written by and for recovering people (One Day at a Time, Just for Today, and 24 Hours a Day, just to name a few), or I can read the books my religion espouses (the Bible or the Koran, for example). But listening implies action. If my mom tells me to mow the lawn and I don't do it, I may have heard her, but I didn't really listen to her. Meditation implies willingness to do what I'm told. Reading the directions is one thing; following the directions is something else. And following the directions is what leads directly to the promise found in step 12. Do you see it?



Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other alcoholics (and addicts), and to practice these principles in all our affairs.



A lot of people think they have to experience a "spiritual awakening" before they can work Step 3, but the promise of a new spirituality actually comes in Step 12--as a direct result of working the previous 11 Steps. I believe it is a spiritual law that understanding always follows obedience. We don't say, "Keep coming back, it works if you understand it." We say, "Keep coming back, it works if you work it." For me, "carrying the message" is simply living a recovering lifestyle, 24 hours a day, one day at a time. My sponsor told me more than once, "You may be the only Big Book some alcoholics ever read." The way I carry the message is to practice the principles of honesty, open mindedness and willingness in all my affairs. The evangelist Billy Graham once said, "Too many people spend Saturday night sowing wild oats and then spend all day Sunday praying for a crop failure." True sobriety is measured in the way I behave when I don't think anybody is looking.



So, that's my take on these "continuing action" steps. Working these steps day after day, one day at a time, has brought me the kind of peace I thought was only available to others: In them I have found the serenity, courage and wisdom for which I prayed so long. This is my wish for you.

Learn more at www.valleyhope.org or
www.valleyhope.org/drug-rehab-alcohol-rehab-aboutus.aspx.

Learn more at http://www.valleyhope.org or
http://www.valleyhope.org/drug-rehab-alcohol-rehab-aboutus.aspx.